In our modern era of Spotify and iTunes, tons of songs are churned out daily. With the endless supply of tunes available for consumption, stupid lyrics are sadly inevitable. Some might assume stupid lyrics are limited to pop songs, but they’d be wrong. From country to rock, all genres are susceptible to mind-numbing stupidity. While artists usually like to claim “artistic expression” to defend their inane lyrics, most of the time not even that can save them. So, what are these dumb words put to song? Here are 25 Stupid Song Lyrics You Won’t Believe You’re Actually Listening To.
25. Spice Girls, Wannabe
“I really really really wanna zig a zig aaaaaaah.”
We really don’t.
24. LFO, Summer Girls
“New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits / Chinese food makes me sick.”
Trying to connect the dots between New Kids on the Block and Chinese food will make you go crazy. We don’t recommend trying it.
23. Selena Gomez, I Love You Like a Love Song
“I love you like a love song, baby.”
Are we talking a Taylor Swift love song or an R.E.M. love song? Help us out here.
22. Train, 50 Ways to Say Goodbye
“Someday I’ll find a love like yours / She’ll think I’m Superman, not SuperMinivan / How could you leave on Yom Kippur?”
There are no words other than…what a trainwreck.
21. Black Eyed Peas, I Got a Feeling
“Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday to Sunday.”
Well, at least we know the Black Eyed Peas passed Kindergarten.
20. Van Halen, Why Cant This Be Love
“Only time will tell if we stand the test of time.”
The answer to the song title’s question is this awful lyric.
19. Britney Spears, Email My Heart
“Email my heart and say our love will never die.”
Pretty sure if he’s emailing you, your love is dead and buried.
18. Eminem, Love the Way You Lie
“Now you get to watch her leave out the window / Guess that’s why they call it window pane.”
Leave it to Eminem to really dig deep into the subtext of home improvement.
17. The Killers, All These Things That I’ve Done
“I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier.”
So, soldiers have more soul? So confused.
16. Pitbull, Give Me Everything.
“Me not working hard? / Yea, right! / Picture that with a Kodak / And, better yet, go to Times Square / Take a picture of me with a Kodak.”
Better yet, let’s take a picture of you going back to high school to get your diploma.
15. Sisqo, Thong Song
“She had dumps like a truck truck truck/ Thighs like what what what/ Baby move your butt butt butt”
Sisqo clearly has a strong command of the English language.
14. Ed Sheeran, Wake Me Up
“And I know you love Shrek / Because we’ve watched it 12 times.”
Not only should you not mention Shrek in a song, but it might be too much information to say you’ve watched it 12 times.
13. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Around The World
“Bonafide ride, step aside my Johnson. Yes I could in the woods of Wisconsin.”
12. Will Smith, Getting Jiggy with It
“You gotta’ Prada bag with a lotta’ stuff in it.”
Not Will Smith’s finest pickup line.
11. The Killers, Human
“I’m down on my knees, searching for the answer… Are we human or are we dancer?”
Is “dancer” some kind of new species we’re not aware of?
10. Taylor Swift, Love Story
“Cause you were Romeo / I was a scarlet letter / And my daddy said stay away from Juliet.”
Hey, here’s a thought, maybe don’t mindlessly mix two beloved literary figures in your awful song, Taylor Swift?
9. Nikki Manaj, Stupid Hoe
“You a stupid hoe / You a / You a stupid hoe / (stupid, stupid).”
It would be one thing if she said “stupid” three times, but four? Egregious.
8. Toby Keith, Red Solo Cup
“Red solo cup, I fill you up/Let’s have a party, let’s have a party/I love you red solo cup, I lift you up/Proceed to party, proceed to party”
Singers have written about partying so much, topics have been dwindled down to”Red Solo Cup.” Let that sink in.
7. Rihanna, What’s My Name
“The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? / Cause I’ve been tryna work it out.”
Is this Rihanna’s weird way of telling her fans to stay in school? As a side note, the square root of 69 is 8.30662386292. So, yeah, 8 something.
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Suck My Kiss
“K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Chicka chicka dee, Do me like a banshee, Low brow is how, Swimming in the sound, of bow wow wow”
Sounds like the deranged ramblings of an intoxicated billionaire.
5. Hilary Duff, So Yesterday
“If the light is off, then it isn’t on.”
Well, we can all be glad Hilary Duff didn’t go into engineering.
4. Live, Lightning Crashes
“Lightning crashes, a new mother cries / Her placenta falls to the floor.”
All the words to use in the English language, and Live chose placenta.
3. Prince, Superfunkycalifragisexy
“Keep the blood flowing down to your feet, Brother Lois will be around in a minute, with a bucket filled with squirreled meat.”
Why do we get the feeling Prince (RIP) was secretly describing a disturbing ritual at his private home?
2. Queen, Bicycle Race
“You say ‘black’ I say ‘white’. You say ‘bark’ I say ‘bite’. You say ‘shark’ I say ‘hey man ‘Jaws’ was never my scene!'”
We loved the opposite game as children, too!
1. LMFAO, Sexy and I Know It
“Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah/ Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah, yeah.”
If there was ever proof humanity is doomed and there’s no turning back, this is it.